Sexualized World

"Eat Me - Drink Me - You'll be Happy"

Everything is so overly sexualized in this world.

It annoys me.

It annoys me to be out in public with Mr. Wonderful and all the sex symbols that surround society. The advertisements convincing me (and him) that if I look like this or that, if I wear this or that, if I eat (or don't eat) this or that, if I drink this or that... then and ONLY THEN will I be happy, will HE be happy.

When I am out in the world by myself I notice that, at times, I have to do self talk and use my tools to stay grounded and to fight off all the lies that surround me.

When I am out in the world with Mr. Wonderful I notice that, ALL of the time, I have to do self talk and I use up all my energy using every tool I've ever learned to stay grounded and to fight off all the lies that surround me.

Why is it like this?  Is it like this for any of you who have dealt with infidelity, porn addiction, sex addition, etc?

IT SUCKS! 

And I want it to STOP!

I would actually like to enjoy Mr. Wonderful and our time out on dates.  I would actually like date night to be the respite that it is suppose to be, not the exhausting work that it is now.

Stupid addiction.  Stupid betrayal.  Stupid lies.  Stupid overly sexualized world.

IT SUCKS!

I Don't Understand

Dear Mr. Wonderful,

Why do you find it so difficult to love me?  Why have you ALWAYS found it so difficult to accept me completely?  Why do you struggle finding peace in your decision to be with me?  I just don't understand.

I remember the day you knelt down on your knee in the snow and asked me to be your wife.  I remember feeling like the LUCKIEST girl in the world.  I remember feeling such relief that the ups and downs of our dating relationship and your indecisiveness were OVER!  I waited patiently, even though it hurt me, when you wanted to break up and then be together and then break up just so you could make sure you were able to venture out, but I understood.

Now I don't.

Mother's Day Performance Spectacular

Mr. Wonderful is an amazing performer.  He puts together the most spectacular birthday celebrations, gifts and surprises. But his best holiday accomplishments seem to fall on Mother's Day.  What a day for me.  He makes it the best most relaxing day by taking care of our 3 beautiful children and just spoiling me.

I almost can't wait for tomorrow.

Mother's Day Performance of a Lifetime! 

Oh, before you get jealous of my wonderful performing husband… did I mention that he is sleeping on the couch?  Oh crap, now back to my reality I suppose… yes, Mr. Wonderful did a little confessing today that went a long with a tad bit of lying so… my marriage isn't fun or happy or blissful by any means…

but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy Mother's Day and the performance of a lifetime right?

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL OF MY WARRIOR SISTERS AND WoPA's.

I LOVE YOU.