The Darkness will Clear

Mr. Wonderful got me my own hotel room for one night so I can get grounded again. I know he does this 99% for me and my sanity but that other 1% comes from his fear of "WHAT THE DAMN HELL IS HAPPENING TO HER!" 

My daughter is taking all of this better than I am. 

***UPDATED 12/2015***
I have been working with the detectives and the police.  They have brought a lot of clarity to me. I hate it when people lie. I especially hate it when someone I really trust lies to me. I am surviving but I can't believe what people will do to cover their tracks. But I guess I can, I am just use to it from addicts. 

Truth!

Truth!

Our 2 hour marriage counseling session was… exhausting. 

But different. 

We are back to doing “check-ins” but they seem more authentic, more… I don’t know, something. 

I’m still recovering from last week in Newport and Mr. Wonderful saying some pretty hurtful things. Blaming. Projecting. All the bullshit.

It is ALL bullshit. 

I know it, I’m just wondering if he will ever know it.

Sometimes it feels like I live with two different men. 

Unicorns and Rainbows

My Perception of My Marriage BEFORE “D-Day” 

"D-Day" stands for "Discovery Day" or "Disclosure Day" or "Day I want to DIE", etc...

Basically it's the day you realized that what you thought was real wasn't. 

Who you thought you could trust you couldn't.

It was the beginning of the longest and hardest journey of my life.

A journey I am still on.

A journey I will probably always be on.

But it's okay because the world of unicorns and rainbows was never real and I wouldn't have found true happiness there.

What lies ahead is more genuine, more authentic, more pure.

Although this journey is ugly and complicated and confusing and painful... the best lies ahead.

Or at least the best ME lies ahead.