I have a difficult time trusting myself and my instincts. After Mr. Wonderful dropped the mother bomb on my back in 2007 I have tried to stay grounded, I have tried to be insightful, I have tried to be sensitive to my feelings and emotions, I have tried to be in-tune. However, I find it hard to know if the spirit is telling me something or if it's my fear or paranoia. This has been a constant struggle for me and what's sad about it is that sometimes, Mr. Wonderful has used my doubt and capitalized on it.
The truth is, I had NO IDEA about Mr. Wonderful's addiction until he told me. The truth is I had NO INTUITION about the secrets and lies. The truth is I was the LAST to realize what my life REALLY was.
So, trusting myself doesn't come easy.
I doubt my thoughts, feelings, choices, boundaries, etc… so much.
With this said, the other night Mr. Wonderful and I were talking… wait -- wait -- wait, first I should say that Mr. Wonderful is actively and proactively working his recovery. He really started kicking things in gear 6 months ago. I have seen actually changes that, before this last year, have only manifested in words, not deeds. Mr. Wonderful truly is trying and fighting harder now than he ever has. Okay, now I can go on…
The other night Mr. Wonderful and I were talking. He was telling me about his progress. He shared that he is still tempted to look at other women but 9 times out of 10 he pushes the thought away and doesn't give in to the temptation. This bothered me. This is where I need help from you guys reading this, if anyone is reading this… please, if you are reading this help me! I told Mr. Wonderful that I don't feel that it is fair to me to have share a bed with a man who 1 time out of 10 gives in to a temptation of looking in a lustful way at another woman.
Okay, so is this too much? Is my request or my expectations even reasonable?
I feel like the world says men are men, they are going to look. Can they even help it?
Also, I don't know why this bothers me so bad. My husband has been diagnosed with a "sex" addiction. He attends SAA meetings. On the invisible scale of sex and pornography Mr. Wonderful has ventured far FAR further than checking out girls every once in a while. So why does this bother me so much?
It bothers me that it bothers me.
I hate that I feel like I'm being too hard on him. When I look at it I wish I felt grateful. I mean, I AM grateful that he's not at the strip clubs, I am happy that he isn't getting lap dances or flirting or talking sexual with those ladies. I am grateful that he isn't visiting adult bookstores or spending our money on girls and sexual things… because he has done that, ALL that, before.
So, why am I so bothered by the 1 out of 10 girls thing? On the invisible scale of what my husband has done from WAY awful to WAY great, shouldn't dismissing the temptation 9 out of 10 times be something I celebrate?
But I'm not celebrating.
And the last 2 nights, ever sense that talk that Mr. Wonderful and I had, I have been sleeping in my bed alone. Mr. Wonderful is wondering if I intend to keep him out of my bed until he can promise me that he NEVER looks at another women again.
I told him that I'm not sure.
And I'm not.
***Please, please, PLEASE leave your comments or your input here. This is one of those posts that I truly am asking for some insight***
I'm pretty new to all of this, but I can tell you that I would be bothered! It seems to me that we covenanted to be true to our spouse and cleave to them and none else. I think that lusting after anyone else at any point is a direct violation of that covenant--even if it's "not as bad" as those other things. After all, don't the scriptures say that if any man lusts after someone, they've already committed adultery in their heart?
ReplyDeleteYour story is absolutely heartbreaking! I wanted to comment yesterday, but didn't get a chance to sit down long enough. I cannot imagine the awful pain you have endured--and have endured alone. I wish I could just give you a big hug! Thank you for sharing with us and showing us that no matter how bad it gets, we can survive. You are an inspiration to me.
Lily ~ So either I'm not crazy or you are crazy with me because that's what I feel and that's what I always believed about lust. "They have already committed adultery in their hearts". It's so funny how easy it is for me to doubt because Mr. Wonderful has pushed the bounds so much further than "eying" a women… but, if I take all that away, and even if he wasn't an addict, I would NOT be okay with him checking out some random girl… your comment reminded me that with or without the addiction, this behavior isn't appropriate. Sheesh, I can't remember the last time I lusted after a hot man, or a rich man, or a young man… so he shouldn't either. I feel powerful now!!! Thank you… THANK YOU for taking time to leave a comment. Life is crazy and busy but your comments (and all the comments) have made all the difference to me.
DeleteIve been reading your blog for some time and can absolutely relate to your feelings about not trusting yourself. This stuff is so hard to navigate! My advice is to accept that it is ok to live in limbo..in a middle ground so to speak. The fact that he is sharing with you is truly wonderful, but it doesn't mean there isn't still a problem. It is ok that in my opinion that for any number of reasons (and being crazy and unreasonable is a perfectly acceptable one right now too...not that you are, I'm just saying) you aren't ready to share a bed with him. You are sharing a home and a life with him. You are allowing yourself some space to grieve and feel and work towards forgiveness. You haven't said the marriage is over, you haven't told him that if he admits to lusting after another woman he has to leave and the relationship is not salvageable. All you are saying is "I appreciate and NEED your honesty, however, I still have to figure out how to process it all and for me that means I need space." Real recovery for him would mean that he can look at you with empathy and say,'I can imagine how hurt you must be feeling and I am working hard to earn your trust back by being honest with you regardless of the consequences it brings. I am willing to give you as much space as you need to work through this." You have been betrayed by him many times, and while it is truly amazing that he is in the recovery process, that cant dictate your healing. You will need a lot of time! You aren't being unreasonable or over reactive, you are traumatized. One day in the future, if this boundary is respected and valued, these moments will be the building blocks of a trusting relationship between you and him, as well as between you and yourself. You have demonstrated an amazing amount of patience and forgiveness, you deserve some space to heal!!
ReplyDeleteAmber Nish ~ I am flattered that you have been reading my blog! Sometimes I wonder if it just gets lost in cyberspace! I love you advice. I love that you "get it" or that you "get me"… it IS okay to live in limbo. Thank you for reminding me. It isn't FUN to live in limbo but it's okay to live in limbo. Mr. Wonderful claims to be a very logical man and in some ways I feel that his sense of logic has spread to me, so when I am sad for no apparent reason, I challenge it… I need to accept it, to lean into it. I am so happy you can relate and yet I'm so sad that you can relate. Thank you for your support.
DeleteIf you are hurt acknowledge that. There is no "should" when it comes to feelings. They simply are what they are and ignoring them doesn't help. I'm sorry that this has all come up- but I agree, I'd have a hard time "celebrating" the nine times he was faithful compared to the one time he was unfaithful. Hard stuff. HUGS.
ReplyDeleteMadagaea ~ You are right, there are no "shoulds" when it comes to feelings. I need to write this on my walls and mirrors and on my mini-van and any and all places so I can see it 1,000 times a day. I forget this. I try to "fix" myself. I give myself timelines and tell myself enough is enough… it's time to let it go, to get over it… but I will think twice the next time these thoughts creep in my head… I will think of you! PS, I added your blog to my lists of helpful resources and blog page! Hope that's not creepy!!!
DeleteI think it boils down to this: no matter how much recovery your husband is in or sobriety he's acrued, intimacy with you (physical or otherwise) is a privilege not a right. You have trauma. It doesn't matter if on some invisible scale he has done worse, trauma is trauma. You NEED time and space to heal. For your marriage to heal, he NEEDS to be able to accept that, take responsibility, and be compassionate and empathetic. Take all the time you need. It doesn't sound as though you expect him to recover overnight, so doesn't it follow that you should be just as understanding with yourself? Honor your own feelings. You've been betrayed by a lot of people, so making sure you don't dismiss and betray yourself is vitally important. I get it, sister. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMelancholy Smile ~ I just stalked you and your blog is amazing! You are motivating and creative and I want you to come help me with my house! Thank you for validating my trauma. Thank you for reminding me that I am allowed to give myself permission to take time. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I feel so "full" of energy from all the support by you and those who left comments today!
DeleteI agree with the comments above. I have lived 19 years of this but I am just beginning to live a life again free from daily heaviness of depression. My husband has about 9 months of recovery. 1 year of marriage...caught. 9 years more of lies....caught. Disfelowshiped. 2 years stuggling and then refelowshiped. 5 more years of lies....couldn't live with himself anymore. The last 5 years went to a new level with prostitution. Not once but 40 plus women. I stayed because the Lord told me to. That is a story in an of itself but after 1 year I was a wounded, depressed, anxious spirit. Then we finally went to counseling. He was going to meetings but the missing piece was counseling. I realized that I can honor my feelings. I don't HAVE to have sex to be a good wife. I could find me again. So I think it is OK to just BE. Empathy is critical to healing. I actually don't have my husband tell me how he is doing. I want to FEEL the difference. Just knowing is a trigger for me or hearing things he thinks I want to hear. So I am better off not knowing his day in and day out thoughts. I struggle to watch TV of any kind with him. I have gotten where I don't get triggered at grocery stores but malls throw me over the edge. Unless I feel safe and there is an intimate connection we live as roommates and we help take care of 5 kids. He loves me and always has....I have stayed most of the time for the kids who love their dad. I hope one day I will. For now I feel love some days and those days I embrace him and those feelings. When they go, I accept their passing and pray to one day I will feel safe and secure in his arms. He knows this and understands. It is hard for him but he is slowly improving. Your intuition is what you just wrote so beautifully. Jen from Texas
ReplyDeleteJen from Texas, please tell me you blog! Your words were so refreshing and made so much sense to me. I am so sorry you had to (and still have to) endure all of this… this isn't what we signed up for right? But, you are elegant and beautiful in expressing yourself, your feelings and your story. I will work on following that intuition. I will work on honoring my emotions. I will accept that somedays will be easier than others with no rhyme or reason. Thank you so much for commenting. This advise helps me and reminds me and supports me so much!
DeleteThis has been hard for me to...after his confession, I took down all our pictures of us together. My husband has been a fraud and my marriage a mirage. What is REAL? Still trying to figure that out. Good post.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel Daisy K… I can't look at pictures of our past because it is so painful. What I loved and cherished and honored was simply… no real. And I still can't look back because even Mr. Wonderful doesn't know if he was "real" or not. It's just all so unsafe and terrifying. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI didn't read all the comments, so sorry if I say something that's already been said. But anyway, this post really resonated with me because I struggle with this same thing. Sometimes I'm just like "Helloooooooooo. I DON'T care that you are a 'sex-addict'. I don't care that you are a man. You are MY husband, and you lusting after other women is NOT okay." However, with all the openness and communication that we are working on, my husband decided to be open with me about this issue. He said, "I'm really trying. You have no idea how bad the temptations are and what I'm dealing with when I fight them. I'm proud of the 9 times I fought the temptation, but you get hung up on every time I fail. When I talk to you, I feel like a failure. I can't even be happy about my victories." That gave me a lot of perspective. It is such a hard battle we are fighting. I want to validate his victories over Satan, but I want him to completely stop the lusting.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a personal decision for what is acceptable or what things you will accept for him working recovery. I'm pretty bad at specific boundaries like if you lust after someone, you are sleeping on the couch kind of stuff because sometimes the slips affect me differently.
So basically, I just look for real progress. Like you, until I found out about the addiction, I didn't have any clue about it. That caused me to doubt myself because he was so sneaky, but as I've worked my own recovery, I'm recognizing patterns and whisperings of the spirit letting me know when something is wrong. I can tell if he is really, truly trying or just bsing his way through recovery. If he is really trying and messes up, I'll draw some small boundaries but not necessarily him sleeping on the couch. But, like I said, it's a very personal decision and what works for me might not work for you.
Hopefully that was helpful or at least gave you something to think about! Keep it up! I love your posts!
Thank you Kilee Marie. Your comment made me think and I like pushing myself so thanks! The one thing I realized is that my healing is very rocky and inconsistent. I have made it clear to Mr. Wonderful that he cannot rely on my and my moods to always welcome his honesty with a warm and happy heart. The truth is, I am SOOOOO happy that he is being honest with me… the other truth is, it hurts… like hell. So, I realized that I am in constant conflict with myself and my emotions. With this tornado of emotions going on inside of me, I can't let him judge his progress off of my responses. Does that even make sense?
DeleteIt took me so many years to figure this out. I was really hard on myself and would SHOVE any true emotion deep down inside and only praise him when he was honest. I soon realized that this was working for him but it was destroying me. I was in an immense amount of pain but I didn't want to discourage Mr. Wonderful from being honest. The result, and this is a post all on it's own, was I ended up relapsing into my eating disorder. I don't blame Mr. Wonderful for this, it would be like him blaming me for his sex addiction, but I do realize that when I wasn't allowing myself to scream and cry and morn in fear or scaring Mr. Wonderful off, I was emotionally shutting off… it hurt so much I stopped eating. I ended up in an impatient eating disorder facility a year and 2 months after the first D-Day because I couldn't keep living like that.
Now that is extreme, and I'm not even sure why I went off on that.
However, Mr. Wonderful has many recovering friends and a few sponsors that he goes to now for that "good job" pick me up… I can't be the woman he has hurt AND the woman that tells him "it's all okay"… so he has to go somewhere else for that!
(still Kilee, but I'm logged on to a different account right now)
DeleteYou're absolutely right. It's so hard to balance the hell with wanting to make him "feel good" about the times he is doing well. I haven't found out the best way to balance that other than having him turn to other resources for guidance. Actually, when he did say that to me, my actual response was, after not figuring out anything nice to say, "Well, the one time you mess up is the the thing that is going to rip our relationship apart. Thanks for trying, and succeeding 9/10 of the time, but you have to do better than that." I felt really guilty for "making him feel bad", but at the same time, I know I'm right.
I'm glad he is honest. It's much better than him lying, but yeah, it does still hurt. And I'm hoping it will all be under control one day, but right now it's not, and every time he cheats in his mind or heart, it hurts. And that's okay because he is my husband. It's more than allowed to hurt.
I'm praying that you find the balance you need in figuring this out. It's so tough :( But we are strong! YOU are strong :)
Blast I always feel so out of place but I'll comment from an addicts standpoint. Feel free to delete the comments and block me. You probably know more than me anyway. Yes, dealing with lust is hard. The SA White Book says more than once, "lust is cunning, baffling, powerful". It is the root of the whole addiction. We, addicts, need to firmly get it into our heads that we can't handle lust in any amount. Sexual sobriety is defined as not acting out (P or MB) but also 'progressive victory over lust.'
ReplyDeleteI'm glad he is working real recovery. The trick is to get your reaction times to lust down to 1-2 seconds. If I swallowed poison (lust) by looking at an attractive girl for more than 2 seconds and indulging in it, it will cause damage. And heaven forbid, we look at women and notice they are attractive! I would have to live alone up in the mountains to never see an attractive woman ever again!! But the absolute ill is not the woman's beauty! It is not even the attraction we have for women! Lust (quoting some SA literature) = "excessive/unreasonable thoughts or feelings that drive us to use or manipulate ourselves, others, or things for self-centered destructive purposes" It is imposing a distorted spiritual attitude upon a natural drive.
But you stating your feelings and getting support is awesome! Please be gentle on him if he is merely being honest that he struggles with lust or was triggered by something. Honesty is sooooo hard for addicts. We are so ashamed of lusting or acting out. (which probably doesn't sense, but we hate/love the crap) But obviously if those thoughts are getting entertained to the point of more and worse and seeking things out and isolating and full act out....that is serious. Addiction is a serious DISEASE. Willpower, moral character, intelligence are not the issues. We simply have a disease that requires intense, time consuming treatment. It is SUPER frustrating. But somehow possible....
I hope your husband has PLENTY of other recovered addicts or therapists to turn to. Every solid guy in recovery I know does not use the wife as that addiction support person. She can be an emotional support person, but not the addiction stuff. But i'm not married so what do i know. :) I report triggers or lust hits to about 5 different the moment I can. Sooner the better!!
Warrior, I am glad you left a comment. I'm sure it was hard… it feels like it's a woman's world around here, and I suppose it kinda is! I appreciate your words and I wouldn't delete or block you, I feel like you were helpful not hurtful or mean. I would like to address a few items:
DeleteMr. Wonderful and I have been through the gamut since he first disclosed in 2007. I learned in the "Lifestar Program" that addiction was serious. I also know this because I suffer from an eating disorder. I know what it looks like to want to not obsess about something when it seems to just seep into my brain. I get it. However, Mr. Wonderful made the vital mistake of lying to me for so many years including the years that we dated. I was completely open and honest about my eating disorder before we were married, he was not. So it makes it very difficult for me to celebrate his achievements when I didn't even know this existed. Mr. Wonderful being honest about visiting an adult bookstore is heartbreaking to me when I went our entire marriage thinking he was honest and faithful. So, we come from 2 different worlds here. His victory is still my raw pain and realization. With that said, Mr. Wonderful does have plenty of other addicts, a few sponsors, 12-step brothers, LifeStar friends, etc… to turn to. Mr. Wonderful knows he cannot use me for support for the very reason that his victories still cause me so much pain… because of the lies he told me for so long. So, you are absolutely right when you say a wife can't be the best support, because she can't. In the meantime, do I sacrifice my safety, the safety of my bed to a man that is lusting over other women because it's a "disease"? I would let a man with cancer sleep next to me… is it the same thing? A man with cancer and a man with a sex addiction? I don't know. I don't think so, but I don't know. What I do know is cancer doesn't involve betrayal.
And, just to pick on one more thing you said… "honesty is soooooo hard for addicts" I challenge that. When someone is doing something wrong is it ever easy for that person to be truthful? I have kids… they have a hard time telling the truth when they have done something wrong, they aren't addicts. And, I have to tell you that I have to take deep breaths when you make it seem as though every addict struggles with honesty, because this isn't true. I have many friends that I have met through this journey and their husbands have always been honest, even overly honest. So, to give Mr. Wonderful an escape for not being honest is something I will NEVER do. He is addicted to sex. He is NOT addicted to telling the truth. That is, and has always been, a conscious decision.
I will try to be gentle on him. Unlike his choices have been on me during this marriage. Anything but gentle. He has nearly broke me, broke my heart, broke my hope because I "simply" fell in love with him.
Although it probably seems like I don't appreciate your comment I do. And if I could give you any advise… BE HONEST with your girlfriend, fiancé, wife. BE HONEST!
i have learned so so much from learning what the women go through. It isn't going to cure me of my disease but it at least lets me know the truth.
DeleteI am actually a very honest person. However, the vast majority of addicts are dishonest. Outright. You know this better than anyone. And I've minimized plenty in my life.
Thanks for the advice at the end. Two months ago, I was honest with a girlfriend....and she made a very bold decision to break up with me. I don't blame her for a minute. It was inspired and a wake up call for me. I have such a long, long way to go until I can be trusted by a girl. I'm glad I know that, so that I don't make future blunders and cause future pain.
You women are so amazing to me. seriously.
it bothers you cause its wrong. and yes, you shouldn't have to share a bed with someone who 9 times out of 10 is faithful. infidelity is infidelity.
ReplyDeleteps good job! write more
You are my inspiration Scabs… for real, your blog saved me… and then YOU saved me!
DeleteI'm late to the party. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteBut I just want to say that yes. Yes, you can demand that he stay out of the bed until he says he can abstain from looking at another woman again. Because the bed he shares with you is a marriage bed, and when he married you, he vowed to never look at another woman again. When he doesn't keep that promise, he doesn't get to keep the marriage bed.
Of course, it's up to you whether or not you let him back in. But to guilt you into it, or to make you feel like you're crazy for creating that boundary? Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
Anom, it's never too late to join this party… oh wait, this is kinda a not-so-fun-party now that I think about it! I really appreciate your input and your validation. You are right, he vowed to be completely mine. If he doesn't keep his promises or covenants that am I bound to let him share my bed? I think a bed represents the most giving, vulnerable, sweetest part of a marriage… I just won't reach that far out of my comfort zone. I'm not ready. He's not ready.
DeleteAlice,
ReplyDeleteI'm even later to the party than anonymous above, late like the white rabbit. And I think everyone has done a wonderful job confirming that you have every right to feel what you feel and be where you are.
I would like to comment on a comment, if you don't mind. In my own recovery as the spouse of an addict, I have heard so many times that men can't not see attractive women. Hey, I get it, I notice and see attractive women too. And, newsflash here, I notice and see attractive men too. When I got married I never asked my husband to be blind. I expected that he would notice other women. I also expected that he wouldn't entertain thoughts of other women. I knew he wouldn't be blind. I just didn't know what he would do when he saw those attractive women.
I notice men who are attractive, but I don't care. It doesn't bother me that my husband notices attractive women. It bothers me what he does with that information, with that picture in his head.
Do you ever feel that way?
Eaglewings… THANK YOU! I totally agree. I feel like when people say such belittling things to me like "men cannot NOT see or notice attractive women" they are patronizing me (and every woman who is in my situation). I mean, do people really REALLY think that we are logically asking for this? Do they really think our expectations are for our husbands (and men in general) to walk around not being able to tell a woman from a man? An african american from a causation from a hispanic from a child from a baby from a monkey from a dolphin??? COME ON PEOPLE. Where in my plea for my husband to not LUST, not imagine having sex with every attractive woman he sees, not be triggered to the point of having an affair… WHERE in all of those fears and pleas did I ever even suggest or hint or mention that… oh yeah, and NEVER NOTICE AN ATTRACTIVE WOMEN AGAIN?? Oh yeah, that's right, I didn't. I mean, is that even POSSIBLE? I don't think so. However, it is possible to see some tiny thing wearing next to nothing with curves in all the right places and not do or think or say or salivate. It is TRULY possible to ACTUALLY just notice and then… THE END. Go on with your day. No looking twice. No running to porn or the strip club or the adult bookstores to itch that scratch… THAT IS WHAT I WANT! THAT IS WHAT I LONG FOR… to have Mr. Wonderful all to myself and for me to give all of myself to him. Have I suggested at all that, in order to prove our undying love we will both gouge our eyes out so as to never notice another attractive human being EVER? No… I have not asked this, I have not suggested this, I do not expect this, I do not even believe that this is possible. So yeah, I do feel that way, and I feel when people respond with such hurtful belittlement they are being cowards.
DeleteAnd, you caught me in a mood because I just went OFFFFFFFFFFF!!!
Thank you so much for addressing that… silly me, I was going to let it slide!
I'm glad you went off-that was hugely validating for me. It is a point I have never talked about with anyone before, so thank you for responding.
ReplyDeleteAnd in case you have forgotten-you are AMAZING!! I hope you have a good day.
I don't really think I have anything new to add, as I think there's already been a lot of good insight shared. Although I did just want to comment to say that I'm so glad you chose to write about this subject, because it is so very validating for me to hear that I am not alone in those feelings! I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this, but I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels that way. A lot of times I have felt like I must be a bad wife or bad person because I can't just be proud of the fact that my husband has made a lot of progress; and instead I still get hurt by the areas that he falls short in (the whole 9 out of 10 thing). But the truth is, we have every right to feel hurt for the times that they choose to lust, because regardless of whether or not they "could have chose to do something worse" it still doesn't make it right. And for the times where I end up feeling bad or like I must be crazy; I have to remind myself that if God has the opinion "If a man looks after a woman to lust after her, he's already committed adultery in his heart." Then I sure as hell have every right to feel hurt and cheated on when my husband lusts after another woman.
ReplyDeleteMy husband always likes to get on my back about how I can't just be proud of him for the progress he has made, instead of only seeing the mistakes. Or likes to try and justify the situation by telling me that every marriage has problems, or every guy is like this. Yes, I'm glad my husband has made progress, and I know every marriage has issues, but that doesn't mean that I don't deserve my husband to be 100% faithful to me. I understand that there's going to be a lot of attractive women out there that he can't help but notice, but lusting after them is a totally different subject. Whew that was long! But thanks again for sharing, sometimes I get so trapped in my own thoughts and feel like I must be the crazy one, or such a horrible wife. But I'm so glad I'm not the only one that gets hurt over these things, it makes me feel more validated to feel the way I do. Love your blog by the way!
Thank you so much for your words HopeForHealing… I can totally relate and identify to what you are saying and feeling. It's so complicated and so confusing but it's so nice to hear that I'm not alone in this. Thanks!
DeleteWhen I got married I thought, this man nsy be called as the next Prophet and Oresidrbtbif the Church... that's what I really thought. Do I always think, what dies the prophet do? He's human. He has eyes. And he tells us over the pulpit what he does... which is, he looks away.. every time. Why? Why look away? I think its because he's reached a point where he cares more about their souls than their sex appeal. Fighting the battle is valiant abs its another step in the right direction but I'm a firm believer that once the underlying root us discovered, the reason they turn to lust, then they lose the desire to lust and replace it with a desire to connect, to gave real intimacy and real relationships with real beings. So with all that said, I think if you're uncomfortable with this stage of recovery, then you are!! And in my life boundaries actually tend to be more "supportive" than what I consider "support" BC it demands a deeper level of recovery. Phew I'm tired after writing all that!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your validation Lovely Light. Sometimes it's so difficult for me to validate myself but so reassuring when someone, in my similar situation, can help me out. I appreciate your comment.
Delete