I swore I would NEVER have another separation in my life... EVER. I swore that the 8 month separation back in 2010 would be the
only time Mr. Wonderful and I would have to sit down with our wide-eyed carefree kids and explain to them that their parents need space to
breath think. And in order for that to happen, the man they adore and love, their dad (Mr. Wonderful) would have to move out.
In 2010 when reconciling after our separation I remember telling Mr. Wonderful, "this is it, if we can't make this work we are divorcing because I don't believe in separating for convenience and confusing our kids"... and now, well...
Mr. Wonderful moved out on Monday. I asked him to. He was cordial and somewhat understanding.
He knows that he has hurt me on a indescribable level. He gets that. He doesn't think he can help it so he wishes I was just strong enough to understand when he tells me he resents me for not being "the hottest" but he understands how that
stabs me so hard that I feel like I am dying inside hurts me a little.
So, we are breathing.
I am breathing.
Or maybe I will start breathing in a few days or weeks because right now I'm finding it pretty difficult to breath.
Mr. Wonderful,
why? why?? WHY??? can't you love me?
WHY?
Just love me.
Just let me be enough.
or just get some courage and confidence Alice and stop caring if he loves you or not...
