it's not fair

Mr. Wonderful is a sex addict.  

I wanted to do everything in my power to give my kids the best chance they had at not being sex addicts.

So I asked.

I asked Mr. Wonderful what he thought would have helped him better as a child and a teenager.  I asked the professionals what the best things were to help my kids navigate their natural hormones, learn about healthy sexuality, and avoid pornography.  I asked the wives and moms of sex addicts what they thought the best avenues were when trying to talk and teach children.  I asked coaches and bishops and teachers and leaders.  I read books and articles and went to seminars and conferences on the topic.

I learned a lot.

And then came the part where I applied the things I learned. 

We took away the shame as we had/have open discussions about pornography and healthy sexuality.  We talk about natural hormones and what that feels like and what looks like.  We talk about respect and consent and accountability.  We read all of the books that were recommended to us with each child individually (Good Pictures Bad Pictures, 30Days of Sex Talks, Growing Up, etc... {all fabulous books by the way}).  We talked as a family and together set up internet and device filters to help prevent exposures.  We lovingly listen without reacting when our kids do come to us with problems and issues regarding pornography and sex {this one is so hard to do because inside I am SCREAMING in fear}.

WE DO EVERYTHING WE WERE TAUGHT TO DO… and it doesn’t seem to be working.

I find myself feeling a little hopeless, maybe even victim-y.
  
One of my children are struggling with pornography.  Some may even say that he is addicted.  I think that he is addicted.  I can’t believe I am having to go through this as a mom after experiencing it as a wife.  

I just need to sit here and feel sorry for myself for a bit. 

It’s not fair.