Showing posts with label Mr. Wonderful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mr. Wonderful. Show all posts

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Prisoner


I feel like a prisoner. 

Even though I have older children, I can't leave them alone... not with Knave.

Not only do I fear that he will find a way to access pornography in our home {regardless of  having every filtering software known to man} but Knave has OCD and it seems to get more severe the older he gets.

He can often {very often} get stuck in his thought process and stuck in his ways.  If anyone upsets his expectations of how things are suppose to go {according to him} he can lose his temper and rage.  Recently he has shown aggression when he has these rages so I worry about leaving my other kids alone with him.

I feel like a prisoner in my own life.

I suppose I remember feeling like this when Mr. Wonderful was acting out in his addiction.  When he was lying and sneaking and minimizing and gaslighting.  I felt like a prisoner in my marriage and therefore in my life.

But with Mr. Wonderful it felt like an emotional prison.

With Knave it feels like a physical prison.

Both of them are awful.

I am working on solutions to remedy this situation because I don't want to resent my son.

Any suggestions?

Friday, June 19, 2015

Truth!

Truth!

Our 2 hour marriage counseling session was… exhausting. 
But different. 
We are back to doing “check-ins” but they seem more authentic, more… I don’t know, something. 
I’m still recovering from last week in Newport and Mr. Wonderful saying some pretty hurtful things. Blaming. Projecting. All the bullshit.
It is ALL bullshit. 
I know it, I’m just wondering if he will ever know it.
Sometimes it feels like I live with two different men. 

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