Saturday, November 21, 2015

Helplessness



It is so much easier for me to accept the consequences of my own behavior and choices.

This makes sense to me.  It's obvious.  

If I do something wrong, I should have consequences.

I should have to own up to it and do whatever I can to make it right.

This is logical so my brain accepts it.

It is so much harder for me to accept the consequences of others behaviors and choices.

This makes no sense to me.  It's insanity. 

If someone I love does something wrong, I shouldn't have consequences.
I shouldn't have to own up to it and do whatever I can to make it right.

This is irrational to me so my brain fights it.

So why?  why?  why?  why?  why? WHY? doesn't it work like this?
And yet... in both scenarios I am affected.
I am very affected.

In fact, I am probably MORE affected when someone I love does something that directly impacts me.  For better or worse.  
I have thought a lot about this concept and the reason why it is harder for me (and for you if you are shaking your head yes and thinking "me too") is because of the complete helplessness we have over others choices and behaviors.  

There is something comforting knowing that I can do better, that I can make changes, that I can work on my own weaknesses and shortcomings and character defects but I have ZERO control over the people I love.  And that helplessness is TERRIFYING.  That helplessness is the reason why it is harder.  

Helplessness is, pretty much, the WORST!
post signature

1 comment:

  1. I was at the park this week, crying over this very idea. I was praying about it and was reminded that my Savior suffered everything innocently, and now I am a little more like Him. I am in awe of Him. How did He do it? How did He survive all the injustices? I want to help others, mourn with them, comfort them. Someone stopped that day at the park and comforted me. He was an older member of a neighboring ward. He listened to my sorrows and my testimony. He was an angel in human form. I think also how, in the Book of Mormon, Nephi, Ether, Mormon, and Moroni sorrowed over their families, their people. I get why now. I am a little like them. Their words give me comfort. It's not fair to suffer for others' sins. It hurts. One day, I hope, all will be made right.

    ReplyDelete