15th Anniversary

Today is our 15th wedding anniversary. 

Fifteen years ago I couldn’t have imagined what my marriage would endure, what I would endure, and what Jon would endure. If I would have been able to sneak a glimpse of what the years ahead had in store for me I would have been so scared and so doubtful in my ability to work through the hardships that I probably would have ran away and never looked back.

But… I’m really glad I didn’t. 

I am really, really glad I didn’t. 

I wonder what I will say about things 15 years from now! 

Marriage is hard, it just is. My marriage, over the last 15 years, has involved compromise and stubbornness, communication and separation, patience and frustration, hurt and pain and so much healing, hope and hopelessness, love and hate, pride and humility, anger and sadness, fear and safety, lies and honesty, judgement, forgiveness, frustration, and charity.  

Over the last 15 years our marriage has seen many dark days. We spent years fighting WITH each other while fighting FOR each other. There was a period of time when neither of us thought we could withstand the damages done in our marriage and we almost walked away. 

But somehow, with the Grace of God, things started changing and we are still here.