Fake Trustworthiness

Untrustworthy people who fake trustworthiness are the worst.
But it feels really great when they put their lies in writing and get caught.

TRUTH ALWAYS WINS
IT JUST TAKES TIME

Alone in a Marriage

I don't think my husband will ever feel like he is lucky to have me as his wife. 

I don't think he will ever not think he could have done better.

And I get to live with that. But I don't know how to live with it. I don't know how to let that be his thing because I feel like part of me beats the hell out of myself for not being enough for him.

This is so hard for me to talk about and it scares me. That's why I'm typing it.

Things with Mr. Wonderful aren't getting better in our marriage. I still see him manipulating me and stretching the truth whether that is through minimizing or exaggerating. He loses  his perspective quickly and will retaliate with pride. He can't admit he is wrong or when he does, he doesn't mean it. I don't feel supported by him in this relationship and I never have. I don't feel like he really wants me to be the best person I can be. He doesn't stand by me and help me grow in a living way, rather he judges me and gets scared when he notices any personal progress I make.

My husband is wonderful at many things. Being a husband isn't one of these things.