There isn't anything BIG going on with me but there are a lot of LITTLE things.
They add up.
I'm feeling overwhelmed with my life AND this world.
I feel like I am behind, always struggling to catch up to everyone else.
Or, maybe the truth is that I am always struggling to catch up to the expectations I have of myself.
My expectations are relentless and demanding. Unhealthy to say the least.
Regardless of the reasons, I am feeling a desperate need to breath, like my body can't get enough air and at any minute I may pass out. The anxiety constantly reminding me of what I need to be doing, where I should be as a mother, what I need to look like as a wife, where I ought to be in my recovery as a spouse of an addict, and where I should be in my recovery with my eating disorder.
According to my expectations, I am failing at everything.
And I just can't seem to shake it.
So basically we're in the same place just about? Yeah? I'm glad we are friends.
ReplyDeleteIt helps me to try and extricate words like "should and need to" from my vocabulary... Some words just make me feel like I'll never be enough. God bless your efforts! Thank you for your courageous blog!
ReplyDeleteIt helps me to try and extricate words like "should and need to" from my vocabulary... Some words just make me feel like I'll never be enough. God bless your efforts! Thank you for your courageous blog!
ReplyDeleteI hear you. I think you're incredible.
ReplyDeleteExpectations are the worse. Especially from ourselves. Are they appropriate sometimes? Like everyone has certain expectations in a marriage right? I am being told I should have no expectations and I don't really understand it.
ReplyDelete